This is the second part of my travels to the north of The Netherlands. Apologies for taking a while to get this onto ‘paper’ so to speak as I have been in the middle of home improvements (finally double glazing! I hope no more ice cold winters inside).
So after leaving the Wild Roots Herbal Retreat I went to Heerenveen, Friesland where I would stay four nights at a B&B. The first day I visited Hemrik and the other days I just chilled and roamed around town visiting musea and taking hikes in nature.
Picture of my stay in Friesland can be found here.
Now this is the story about my father’s and grandmother’s past. A while ago I was contacted by a man from Friesland, trying to contact my father. He found me through a search engine. This man, Ben, is the childhood friend of my father and he was never able to reach out before, because he didn’t know the last name or place my father moved to when he departed Friesland, he only knew he was called Freddie. Now the message from Ben came very timely as I have been digging more into my roots for the past months, but this search ends with my father’s father, my grandfather as we do not know who he is. This has always been something I wanted to know, but no one ever spoke about it (those who might have known) and they are now themselves deceased, taking the mystery into their graves.
My grandmother died on September 25th, the same day I was born (of course different year, 1955, my father was 9 years old) and I carry the same middle name, which has always made me feel extra connected to her.
Ben found some card sent by my grandmother and father to Ben and his mother and he kindly gave them to me. They are very special to me as I don’t know anything with my Grandmother’s handwriting on it, to be honest I only have a few photographs of her.
The search
Ben found an old address book among his deceased mother’s belongings and in here it stated my father and grandmothers full names and the place they moved to, Poortugaal, where I was also born years later. Doing an internet search he quickly landed in my inbox. Unfortunately I had to tell him that my father died in 2016. We exchanged stories and photographs and this rekindled my drive to find out more about my father, grandmother and grandfather’s past.
You see my grandmother moved to Germany either during the war or right after and she moved to Watenstedt-Salzgitter, a place where a concentration camp was located. What was she doing there? Was she working there? Was forced there? This all depends on when she moved there. Looking at my father’s date of birth, he was conceived right after Liberation, but where was he conceived? So a lot of questions.
I did a lot of internet searching through archives and articles. I requested a full birth certificate from the Standesamt Salzgitter, Germany, where my father was born, but unfortunately this also only mentions the mother.
Questions
So why did my grandmother, move to Germany? And did she become pregnant in Poortugaal or in Germany? And why This did no one ever talked about it afterwards, why was it such a taboo?
There are a few scenarios I can think of;
a. She got pregnant (during the festivities of Liberation?) and being single and pregnant was not accepted in the strict Reformed Congregation, especially with her father being the church minister, so she had to leave town.
b. She became pregnant by German man and out of fear of being shaved and paraded down the streets or worse retributions, she left for Germany.
c. She was arrested and put into the camp at Salzgitter during the war and became pregnant after being set free or in the camp?
d. (This is the story that my father choose to believe and the most probable one;) She got pregnant by a Canadian man, followed him to Germany where he probably had to help with the (former) camp in Salzgitter, but somehow he rejected her as he is not on the birth certificate (or she could not find him), however my father’s middle name is William which is an odd English name for a Dutch boy. We don’t have the name William in our family. And if the father was German they may have called him Wilhelm? But perhaps this name was a decoy?
The second mystery is why did she then move from Germany to Friesland with my father? And not back home? Our family doesn’t have any ties with Friesland (that I am aware of) so why travel all the way from Salzgitter to Hemrik, this little place in Friesland? I think she couldn’t move back to Poortugaal because of the shame of being a single parent, so she found a job in Friesland. But how did she find that job?
Perhaps she met someone in Germany who told her about the job in Friesland? As this man (who is now also dead) came back from the US where he lived for a while, perhaps (an American?) at the camp/in Salzgitter told her about it?
I am now trying to find the family of this man, I have a name and see if they know anything. He himself is also deceased.
The retribution
Rereading the book “De Vergelding” by Jan Brokken, this hit home. This book is about Rhoon, a village right next to Poortugaal and these days both villages are called Albrandswaard.
In “The Retribution”, Jan Brokken returns to his native village of Rhoon. Rhoon is a village in South Holland that has carried a secret with it since the war. In 1944 a German soldier is killed by sabotage. The retaliation of the Germans is terrible: seven men from Rhoon are executed, their wives and children are driven from their homes, and their property is burned. Who committed the attack on the German soldier? Why? Or was it a stupid accident with fatal consequences? To this day, the villagers blame each other. In “The Retaliation” Jan Brokken reconstructs the events using thousands of pages of court documents, witness interviews and 185 interviews with those involved. Just when he thinks he knows what happened, the story takes a completely different turn. Once again it becomes clear that the war has far-reaching consequences not only for the military but also for ordinary people. Jan Brokken Jan Brokken grew up as a minister’s son in the village of Rhoon (my great grandfather was the minister in Poortugaal).
De Hemrik
Having had a pleasant exchange with Ben and his wife, I decided to head up north to visit Hemrik, the place he and my father grew up in. I never knew he lived there so I have never visited before. Ben and his wife are very kind and they drove me to see Hemrik and surroundings. I had a wonderful day and felt very much at ease with this lovely couple. We connected and talked non-stop, there were no awkward moments and it feels like I have known them for a long time. I am so very grateful for their hospitality.
The village where dad and Nel, my grandmother, lived for a while in the post-war years is called Hemrik. A hamlet a little to the east is called Sparjebird (also Sparjeburd) and there Ben (my father’s friend) lived with his parents in the local VIVO store. He lived there until 1954 and was in the public elementary school until the second grade. He has no recollection that Dad was also at that school; according to him, he went back to Poortugaal earlier. See also the card on which he wrote his name, apparently in the manner of a pupil of the first class who has just learned to write. But then again Dad also had a form of dyslexia and never really learned to write properly (was it dyslexia or lack of schooling in the early years?). Sparjebird is a kind of “Ot and Sien” village. Ben has the fondest memories of this. East of the village is a place which is still referred to as “De Driehoek” (Trijehoek in Frysk) and exactly in that bend lived a mister Hans Meinsma. That was the man where grandma and dad lived for a while. Meinsma was already an older man (with a big moustache) who had once emigrated to the U.S.A. but had not found happiness there. The only thing he had brought with him was a large stack of “National Geographic”s which Ben and Papa were allowed to peruse very carefully. Even then it had color pictures! Perhaps this is where Dad’s idea to travel originated? Ben walked to him every morning and he would bake a fresh egg and sometimes Ben could taste a piece of it (on bread). He would also grind a supply of corn in an old wall coffee grinder which they would then take to his chickens together. In other words, this is what Freddie must have experienced as well and it was a peaceful place.
Anyway, I am okay with never knowing, I never thought I would know, but somehow my ancestry is very present in my life right now.
Dear Grandmother
Having the tool of tarot at my disposal I contacted my Grandmother to give me more insight in her situations and reasons for moving to Germany and Friesland.
- A card to describe you in this situation – Eight of Coins describes a hard-working, committed, dedicated, ambitions woman who was seeking financial security.
- Reason for leaving Poortugaal for Germany – Four of Coins shows that you were seeking stability and confidence for the future.
- Please describe your relationship with my grandfather – Three of Swords shows a feeling of loss, a wounded heart.
- What kind of a man was he? King of Wands speaks of a man who focuses on career and power. He is restraint, calm and confident. He was used to command.
- What was your reason to move to Hemrik? Light, now this is a bonus card, and the sense I get from this card is the hope of a brighter future.
- Please describe your stay in Hemrik. Nine of Swords and this card surprises me as this is a card of suffering and difficult times. Perhaps the heartache, being a single parent and not being with family was very hard and had nothing to do with Hemrik in particular? I feel you didn’t find the light you were seeking there.
- What was the reason to leave Hemrik for Poortugaal? And therefor you headed back home in the hope the dust had settled there? The Hermit shows you had done soul searching, sought your inner guidance and the light and fire of the lantern of truth guided you back home.
- How did you experience passing over? Knight of Swords shows you were ready to complete your mission on Earth and showed strength and determination. You had left my father with your sister and your fight against Tuberculosis was over.
- Do you have a message for me? Queen of Swords, haha you know me so well! I often use this card as a significator for myself (also The High Priestess and Justice). This Queen is an open minded truth seeker, independent, intellectual and uses unbiased judgement.
Thank you Gran for communicating with me an clarifying some questions. I will contact you again soon for some more detailed questions.
And thank you dear reader for being on this journey with me. Thank you for visiting! If you have any ideas on how and where to continue my search, please let me know.
In the meantime, I hope you are all doing well. Take care!
See you soon.
