How are you?
As we in the northern hemisphere cross the threshold of autumn into winter, as the ancient Celts referred to it, Samhain (a Gaelic word pronounced “sow-win”) or what’s now called Halloween – was a time of honoring the dead. Not just ancestors who’ve crossed over, but the parts of our lives that are readying to die
I hope you are well and taking care of yourself. These times are deeply emotional and a lot of people are on edge and exhausted. I have been having migraines again and I am just so tired, that all I want to do is sleep. Also I have been very emotional, everything seems to make me cry. It feels good though and very much needed. I have a deep thirst for knowledge and experience and this time is a great teacher, I feel that, but learning can be hard….and tough. I think the most important lessons are never easy. Thankfully I have grit and stamina (and we all do I feel that so strongly!) and I am not the sort of person to give up, but sometimes it is needed to give yourself some slack and do some crying.
Releasing through art
I feel a deep grief and sadness and of course this also comes with this time of year. I am urging myself to focus on the now and not worry so much about the future, some days I do well, some days not so. Also I have been mourning the many deaths in my family the past years, I dream about them every night. I miss them, I know they are never far away, but especially now, I just want to hug them.
Grief is the last act of love we give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love.
Please know you should never be ashamed of how you feel. Even if your life is seemingly perfect, the way you feel doesn’t lie. Honor yourself and your feelings.This November asks us to slow down. Just as nature begins to retreat in preparation for the winter ahead, we have the chance to slow down and reflect on all that has happened this year. This year has brought unprecedented challenges and changes to all of our lives, and we can take the time now to evaluate which lessons we want to take with us and what pieces of our old lives we want to leave behind.
Sometimes I have moments when I experience a deep loneliness. Of course this loneliness already lives within me and is now triggered by the possible new lockdown and the increasing penalties on disobedience and all the people that berate and judge each other, the energies are just heavy and volatile.
Sometimes I get lonely and scared, but only when my mind wanders to the future. It can feel unnerving to witness the relentless chaos, watch incapable leaders, seeing all the lies and manipulation, and the fear that keeps mounting through the media. When we feel like this, our fearful ego-self will tell us all kinds of stories about what might happen, keeping us stuck in worry and fear. That, of course, gets us nowhere, and simply adds to our stress.
Living alone, single, working from home, more severe lockdowns, no driver’s license, no events to gather together, no restaurants and cafes to meet friends, not even allowed to gather at home, when I think about that I sometimes get depressed, but I also know this is a time of healing and silent inner work and rest, regaining strength and quietly working on seeds to plant for the future, from a place of love, warmth and clear intent. I then re-member this is the time of the year to shut yourself off from outside stimuli and turn inward. It is a good time to make an inventory of the harvest of the past months. Is the yield not quite what you hoped for? Then be gentle with yourself. Just like in nature, some crops are more abundant than others. Have you made an inventory of your harvest and do you feel all kinds of new ideas bubbling up? Give them time to mature and don’t get into the action right away, now is the time to prepare.
I hope you had a blessed Samhain with a potent Samhain Blue Moon (there hasn’t been a Full Moon on Halloween since 1944 during the WWII), honoring completions and death in order to rise and rebirth from the ashes. Another rarity of this Blue Moon on Samhain event is that it’s also a micro-moon. Its appearance is smaller in size and less bright as it is farther away from Earth than normal, though this actually heightens the energy surrounding this Full Moon in Taurus, since micro-moons are said to have a stronger effect on our moods.Taurus (my Moon sign) reminds us to enjoy life’s beauty and sensual pleasures. Certainly, that is an antidote to the chaos in the world. Slow down and savor each moment. Now the Sun is currently in the shadow-oriented sign of Scorpio, so expect secrets will be revealed and truth will be illuminated, on a personal and collective level.
Samhain is also known as the Witch’s new Year giving you a chance to release, and surrender into the completions and deaths happening in your life so you can be rebirthed. The veils between the worlds are very thin these days, so use this to your advantage. This is an introspective time before we complete our final harvest and bare down for the winter months ahead. This timing can include a deep integration period for purification as we honor the darkness and honor the spirit world and the dead. As we move forward into the dark half of the year we are given permission to dive deep into self-healing and this Full Moon magnifies the importance of acknowledging our lifelines. In the Western world we are living a fast life with no space and time for mourning. We live on the surface when we don’t make room for mourning, witnessing loss, and recognizing the impacts of the past. Without acknowledging death, we forget how to embrace the depths of ourselves. Without acknowledging the grief that exists, we can’t expand into joy.
Now yesterday I celebrated Samhain at a gathering led by Pagans of Swezas, a Cunara Winter Walk in Rhenen. More about yesterday here.
Today is All Saints Day and Dia de los Muertos. This multi-day holiday involves family and friends gathering to pray for and to re-member friends and family members who have died. It is commonly portrayed as a day of celebration rather than mourning. I am doing tarot readings for myself and clients today. I have posted my personal readings here.
Take care of yourself, both your psychological and physical health and be nice to each other and show compassion. We are all exhausted, vulnerable and easily triggered right now. And see if you can be more kind and smile at others more. A smile can make someone’s day, never forget the power of small acts of kindness. Open up to others, we are all so disconnected right now, be authentic and help where you can if you have energy left-over, but don’t forget to nourish yourself first and respect your boundaries. Re-membering you are never at the mercy of life, you always have a choice, consciously choose in each moment how you will respond to options and situations.
Hang in there, be brave, be you.
