Dear friend,
Winter calls us to move inward for quiet reflection, but at this time we are expected to make this time merry by gathering together and seeking comfort in these dark days before a new year greets us. Whatever you prefer, listen to what you need right now and don’t let the outside world pressuring you into anything. Especially now, in this inward Yin time, we can be very emotional and vulnerable. Mind your boundaries and energy, so you can nurture yourself through Wintertime.
Even though this may be a challenging time, I am wishing you endless blessings for Christmas and the coming year. This time of year can be a great source of joy and happiness but it can also stir emotions and be a time of sadness and loneliness.
“No one needs to be alone at Christmas”, this is what we are pressed on to believe if we believe the programming of movies. And of course you don’t have to be alone, but you can. And sometimes you even have to, though if you make an effort you will see you are not alone in you aloneness and can find others to connect to this Christmas. For instance you can volunteer somewhere or ask people in need over for dinner.
Being alone is not being lonely and lonely isn’t being alone. I can feel very lonely when I am with other people and feel totally fine when I am alone.
Sometimes it is what it is and you know what, this can be a blessing. When I hear so many people complain about the Christmas pressure, I am glad I am spending most of it alone. This year I am grateful to be invited and celebrating with friends. But we keep it low key and focus on the company not on what it looks like or should be according to commercial brainwashing, again what the outside world tells us our life should look like. Let’s face it, life is not a Hallmark card.
If you believe the commercials and many Christmas films, everyone celebrates Christmas at long, richly set tables and every family dinner is a harmonious gathering and loving couples are kissing under the mistletoe. Perhaps this is reality for you, good on you, but for the majority of people it doesn’t even come close to this.
What really helps me is becoming aware of my expectations. By becoming aware of your expectations around the holidays, it becomes easier to let them go and to enjoy what is really there. Allow what is, allow your feelings. You may resist emotions for a short while, but they will come back twice as fast. Moreover: it would be very unnatural to always be happy and joyful. Allow yourself to feel sad or lonely, which in the long run will only make it easier for yourself.
And share your feelings with others. It is a huge relief to be able to talk to someone about your feeling of loneliness and you will find out you are not alone with these feelings.
And know that is you feel lonely, you are not alone as one in four people in The Netherlands feels lonely during the holidays.
Often, we experience a blend of these states in various ways. So, let us enjoy the blessings of the season while keeping our focus on love and gratitude. Let’s send loving thoughts to everyone on this planet. Let’s connect, unite in love and give thanks.
Seek the magick in Christmas, sing the songs, enjoy the festive lights, find comfort in front of a fire with a good book and be open to the idea that Christmas can be merry for you as well! All you have to do is believe and receive.
A big thank you for your love and support. And a very Merry Christmas to you! x
Charissa xx
