Dear friends,
Solstice blessings to you! This weekend was Magickal! Did you feel it?
The darkest day of the year has drawn by and the light is gaining strength. I feel a deep need to retreat and regenerate.
For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere observing Yule, is our invitation to say goodbye to the dark, and welcome back the light. Even though the Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year, and the first official day of winter, the days will keep lengthening from here, gradually, until we find ourselves experiencing lighter days and shorter nights.
At Winter Solstice or Yule, we are invited to release the old year and to enter into the barren fallow land that is resting and regenerating in the darkness.
The weekend
I celebrated Yule with the witches of Taxus and a group of other pagans, together welcoming the light and bowing to the dark.
We were guided by song, a meditation with Frau Holle, the story of Holle and we made a gingerbread man filled with magickal herbs to support us into the new year, a new decade. We shared a potluck dinner and for dessert we received readings from the Taxus witches. I received many beautiful insights and inspiration to help me set course in the new year.
Vrouw Holle
Present this evening was Frau Holle, or Vrouw Holle in Dutch. It seems that the fairy tale of Mother Hulda, or Frau Holle as she is known in Germany, has origins in Norse and German mythology, where she is revered as a goddess of the underworld, the land of the dead, and guardian of young maidens and spinning and weaving. She is also acknowledged as an ancient sky-goddess who rules the weather, going back to Neolithic times.
The story is a good example of the adage, “we reap what we sow”. The girl in the story isn’t rescued by a knight in shining armor but through her acceptance of the maturation process, her courage and resilience are rewarded. A very empowering message don’t you think? There is a lot of symbolism in the story, but I don’t want to spoil this for you. Listen to the story and experience what you receive from it. I have heard the story when I was a little girl, but now as a grown woman I receive so many more layers in fairytales. The well for instance as a source connection to underground water symbolizes our connection to the wisdom of the unconscious. It is important to keep this channel open.
And on Sunday, today, I participated in activities organized by a local organization; “24 Hours of Hope” – a Midwinter Festival. A large yurd was erected between the high rise buildings and neighbors, in circle, gathered and shared. It was quite beautiful.
Tarot
One of the reasons that Solstices are so powerful is that they offer us the opportunity to honor what is and what is seeded, waiting in the dark to be born in Springtime. This is the perfect time for reflection and for myself I love the support of tarot in this practice.
During this Solstice I did a Darkest Night – Winter Solstice Divination tarot reading for myself. Unfortunately I can’t credit the creator of this spread as I have seen this on many websites. This spread resonates with me as it asks all the questions I am pondering at this moment.
As we celebrate the longest night of the year we have an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and our desires as they are reflected back at us by the dark mirror of night. The following reading plays with the image of the mirror as well as the promise of growing light, helping us to seed our dreams and plant promise for the months ahead.
There are no cups in this reading and one major, also no reversed cards. Interesting. I feel I need to engage more in my emotions, really let them move through me, to bring more balance and to take day to day steps forward, no big life changing changes. But more a change in day to day being. Release blockages and move forward. Let things emerge and follow guidance. That is the first glance, bigger picture I receive.
- Asking: What do I desire but don’t let myself have? Or I am afraid to have? Or afraid that I will never have? – Now this question alone brings up so much as I am now writing a blogpost on my word for the year 2020 and it is (be)longing. Longing is the sort of the same as desire, but it feels more feasible. Longing feels like it is always in the future. So I guess desire. Strong word and yes triggering for me. I don’t really live in a world of desire, I am afraid to desire in case I will never get what I so long for. Or perhaps afraid of what will happen if I do. But what is it that I want so so much? I don’t know. The cards suggest the Two of Swords and at the moment I pull this card the candle on my altar starts to sizzle. This card tells me I desire clarity and focus and to find a balance between directions. And this is true, I have a hard time finding one way to follow and am always juggling multiple ideas and directions, which makes me feel quite exhausted. I would love a harmonious resolution to achieve change, no more indecision and doubts. I do feel pulled between the desire to stay in the security of the old or move into the mysterious unknown. I would love to know which direction is best for me to follow. Still no answer on what my true desire is, I guess the gift of making decisions and following my inner guidance, instead of questioning and not making any decisions, so life drags on.
- Gifting: What would happen if I let myself receive the gift that I desire? Four of Swords tells me that I will recover and renew and open to transformation and harmony. All things I am not experiencing now.
- Releasing: What needs to be released in order for me to make space in my life for my desire? – Lord of Wands, Ganesh on this card, the one who makes way and helps to move forward to new activity is perfect to help me decide and move forward. I need to release a lack of direction and feeling not-yet-ready. Ganesh reminds me that the door is open to all possibilities.
- Accepting: What lessons have I learned this past year that have strengthened my desire? The only Major in this reading, The World. This card tells me I have come full circle. Through pain, loss and challenges I have plunged into the great unconsciousness in search of truth. I have disconnected from false illusions and naivety. It’s a long path with much learning. The lesson now is to find power and peace in the life I have now.
- Dissonance: What is something that is dissonant in my life and is causing disharmony? The Nine of Pentacles speaks of financial and material possessions. Of comfort. The none achievement of big dreams. I feel I have shoved away these big dreams, afraid they will not come true. And perhaps my big dreams do involve material needs and comfort and because this isn’t a very ‘cool’ thing to admit, I have disowned this desire? To be honest I have always dreamed of a comfortable, welcoming home and enough money to travel and have new experiences. Enough money not to freak out every time something happens I hadn’t calculated in. Just more room to breath would be nice. On the other hand I have no reason to complain as I am not in debt or anything and I can afford some nice things, at the least the basic needs, and I can go on holiday once a year and that is more than a lot of people have. But here I go again, extinguishing my dreams in comparing myself to others. I need to own my desire and dare to dream big.
- Resonance: What is something that is resonant in my life and causes harmony? The Lord of Pentacles (oh so funny connected to the former question – here we go again – opposites versus balance) tells me that because I don’t focus earthly possessions, but seek comfort within myself that I am in resonance. I am honoring my past, yet moving towards the future. Having gratitude for my foundation and the support I receive and from here seeking to learn more and more and find harmony of mind and body. And yes I am always seeking balance and am grateful for what I have, now I only dare dream about the future.
- Guiding Star: A message of clarity to guide me on my path of desire. The Spirit of Pentacles reminds me I am a student of life. I need to understand that there is a time to stand firm as well as a time to let go and move on. Ancestral wisdom guides me, the past can be helpful, only if the unproductive is discarded. I am invited to participate in activities that bring me truth. It is time to face what needs to be done and accomplish it with integrity.
- Seeding Star: Something that should be “planted” that shall seed my desire. My seed might be a practice, a move, a business change, or something else, that helps me grow into my desire over the coming months. Before pulling the candle loudly fizzles again… I need to hear this. The Eight of Pentacles reminds me that in order to receive wisdom I need to hear my inner voice and learn to discern between appearance and truth (yes something I am aware of every day, and seeking truth every day). Seeing and setting healthy patterns and accepting the natural flow. Also building skills and keep going, building, slowly as nature guides me.
Wishing you a wonderful holidays, take good care of yourself and let go of expectations. Focus on love and joy and keep breathing, stay grounded.
Much love, Charissa xx
