My innate gifts & challenges
An astrological journey
At the moment I am meditating, listening in, delving deep into myself to discover what my deeper reason for being here on this Planet at this moment is.
Life is nice and quiet at the moment, which is really welcome after years of stress and upheaval. But to be honest, it is also kind of dull. Not that I crave a lot of excitement, but I do feel I am not living to my greatest potential.
You see I have always felt that I am here to do something. I am sure most people have this feeling, that is what keeps us going, what drives us. For some people this purpose is clear, for others not so much. I am belong to the latter group.
I have never known what I wanted to be when I grow up, I have never had a clear calling or a clear dream, I just followed whatever I fancied doing at the moment and it always worked out fine. But I’ve always had a certain drive, a feeling of having to do ‘something’. But I am lacking some sort of direction and strategy. And as I am not getting any younger, I am sort of starting to feel even more time pressure (felt this even when I was very young, a sense of urgency) to figure this out right now. I am not overly ambitious or interested in a “career”. I am not competitive and I like to be of some kind of service to others. So I guess that what I am doing at the moment is perfect. I work as a program assistent for an NGO and I have my own tarot reading, healing and art biz (Joy in Creation, where you are at right now – welcome!).
But something is lacking and I feel I am here for greater things. Now this is not me blowing my own horn. I am not saying I am special. But it is this deep feeling I have always had, even as a small child (and again perhaps everyone has this). Now I can keep on suppressing this feeling or I can do something about it.
So the seeking continues.
A few weeks ago at the Self Knowledge week I delved deeper into the Numerology of my name and birth date, my astrology (from different “schools”/angles/systems) and Humorology the Enneagram. And this has helped me connect a few dots.
Writing this out here is helping me condens all the information and trying to make sense of it.
I am not going deep into the origins of these systems or how they work. If you are interested in this there are so many sources you could delve into. Also of course you can read the Wholly Science books or videos (this is where I took the Selfknowledge course/week) I am writing this post to make sense and connect dots between the systems and with the real goal finding out more about myself. So yes this post is very self indulgent and I am not apologizing. This blog is also a bit of my diary. But I also hope this information inspires you and helps you perhaps get to know me and connect with me better and inspire you to look at your numerology and astrology.
Numerology
My birthdate: 9,7,22/11 : So the first 26 years were 9 years (The Mentor) which means thinking in an earthly matter, sharing insights and being practical. And true I was sort of forced to be adult-like from an early age. I was independent and very practical. I needed this to survive. Also I was a bit of a know-it-all and loved sharing my (natural) insights (which made me very unpopular and bullied severely).
Years 27-53 (so where I am at right now) 7 years (The Seeker) – looking for (added) value – seeking action and passion through feelings and emotions and yes I guess that is exactly what this post is all about.
Years 53 and onward the Master Number 22 (The Master Builder) which means to build something with feeling together (as a natural leader but not alone) and I do feel that is true, even though I know this sounds so full of myself, but I know I am here to build something worthwhile for other people and myself. I know I can be some kind of natural leader, not a hierarchal one. This energy is about disciplined ambition, to gather together and give direction. So I still have a few years to prepare for this role, and I do feel that this also has to do with my feelings of unease and urgency. To build together with great trust in the outcome. The pitfall of this energy would be to turn away from such responsibility out of shyness or lack of trust in oneself. Also I need to be aware not to put too much pressure on myself, this has to emerge more or less organically.
Now another Master Number, the number 11 (The Grand Master) is with me all my life, this speaks of an innate talent, a talent I have been born with and I no longer need to learn in this life as I already mastered it before I came into this life. This energy is about deep thinking with feeling, with heart. It is about intuition and charisma. And again as a child I was quite the deep thinker, I came in with a lot of knowledge. Along the way I have closed myself off (like so many of us do) but in the past years I have been opening up again more and more and at the moment I am in some sort of maelstrom as memories and insights are flooding in. And this is comforting and disturbing at the same time. Also because I have not yet reached clarity and been able to organise and make sense of it all. I am making an effort with lots of me-time and retreats to become clear and receptive, but with healthy boundaries and adult strength. This energy needs a concrete purpose otherwise it will succumb to self sabotage.
Name
My first name energy is 22 (personality), 11 (soul number), 33 (destiny number) (33 is The Great Teacher) – so all Master Numbers.
My full name (first, middle, last) personality is a 5 – The Changemaker
My soul number a 1 -The Initiator
And my destiny a 6 – The Guardian
Solar Year Astrology
I can go very deep into this but I will bring it back to it’s most basic for my own clarity (so not taking all aspects in account). The Yin Yang method is unique to the Wholly Science system and you can learn more at Wholly Science website if you are interested.
(sidenote: The Seven Spheres, seven planets. No planet can enter the sphere of another, but the planet can be anywhere within its own sphere. This allows them room to experience their perigees and apogees (their closest and furthest distances from the Earth). In Hermetic astrology and the Western esoteric tradition there are seven planets from our perspective as observers centered on the Earth: the Moon, Mercury, Venus, the Sun, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn. Each of these planets is associated with certain archetypes and currents that are fundamental to conscious experience and to human experience and thus each can also be associated with the Sephiroth of the Kabbalah. )
My Sun is in Libra in the 12th house, the House of Secrets. Now this is a challenging place for a Sun sign and yes I tend to be overlooked or not seen. The 12th house is where we lose the individuality we worked so hard for through the other houses and become one with the Universe again. So in order to manifest a strong presence in the world I must overcome this centripetal tendency and overcome confusion about myself and life in general. This makes so much sense and it is sort of comforting to have this confirmed as I often feel like an outsider looking in at my outer self and I mostly live inwardly. However there is a gift in those with the Sun here and that is the ability to minister to others and act as healers. Also mediumistic talents or a kind of ESP. Also with my Sun being in Libra artistic/creative talents.
Yin/Yang – I am not sure who I really am (yin) so I draw the outside in (yang). I need approval to shape my self image.
My Moon is in Taurus in the 8th house (the House of Desires/Longing and rebirth) this speaks of deep earthly longing. And I guess these are my dreams of a cottage in the woods, a comfort home and people I love to share it with with good food and drinks. Basic comfort and security.
Yin/Yin – I measure my inner self by what the outside world states. No clear inner norms and values so measures by outside’s norms and values.
My Venus is in Leo in the 11th House (House of Ideals) this means that partnership and true friendship are part of my ideal world. And this in a Leo fashion, so playful and fun.
Yang/Yang – I bring balance to others, I find balance inside and outside myself. Don’t need to find it externally, as it is within me.
My Mars is in Gemini in the 9th House (the House of travel and transformation). So this means I encounter conflicts from a mental state. I come to battle prepared, thought out and try to find transformation and forward movement in every conflict.
Yang/Yang – Offensive approach, seeking resolutions. Not destructive.
My Jupiter is in the 7th House (House of intimate relationships) in Aries. I need to take initiative. Following others doesn’t work for me. I am a pioneer, ahead of the game. So I also need to take initiative in relationships and not wait to be courted. I guess that is why I am still single 😉 – but I feel that has more to do with Chiron, more on that later.
Yang/Yang – Tendency to educate others.
Mercury is in Libra in the 1st House (how you show up/House of Appearance). Mercury is about communication so I show up balanced and in harmony.
Yang/Yang – I like to bring/share knowledge.
Saturn is in Leo in 10th House (House of development and career). Saturn is about restriction and structure. This means I have grit, will power and I work from a plan. I need structure in my work life. But Leo is also playful and likes to shine. Perhaps here is a little tension. Wanting to play and shine and being restricted and stick to a plan.
Yin/Yang – A need to change the self/grow/develop.
The North node represents our karmic paths and the lessons we came here to learn—discover a talent we have not yet discovered, working with these will help us grow in this life. This is our destiny calling. The South node reveals the challenges and gifts we bring in from previous lifetimes (these come naturally and we feel at home here).
My South Node is in Taurus in the 8th House (see Moon Sign) and my North Node is in Scorpio in the 2nd House (House of possessions, means of making money and self confidence). Now the second house is also ruled by Taurus. This means I have deep earthly desires (a comfortable house with a garden, a family?). And a yet to discover talent to touch others deeply in an earthly way (perhaps art?). Scorpio is about deep feelings. I need to trust that I already have all the qualities within me to do it by myself and allow myself to feel deeply and express this in an earthly manner. Whatever it may be. I shouldn’t focus on others or take other people’s examples. I need to trust in me.
Chiron is in Aries in the 7th House (House of relationships/Libra). Chiron is known as the Wounded Healer. Although Chiron signifies our deepest spiritual wounds, it also expresses our greatest spiritual strengths. These are the areas in our lives that will teach us the most. Our work to heal these wounds is what allows you to be reborn again and again all throughout your life.
Although the challenges Chiron presents are forever recurring, they also contain our ability to overcome them. Chiron also reveals how we heal others, especially in the areas of our lives that we have trouble healing ourselves. It’s because we have lived through the pain that our Chiron describes that we are able to help others through that same pain.
Chiron in the 7th house indicates that my relationship wounds may stem from observing a disharmonious relationship between my parents (which is true), hindering my perspective of how relationships function, what I search for in a relationship and questioning my worthiness of being in a relationship with someone (very true).
My perception of relationships and marriage in general wounded. Because of this, deep down I believe that marriages or long term relationships are not made to last, simply because of a subconscious fear of repeating the same or similar disharmonious unbalance between my parents growing up. Another manifestation of this placement is that I attract relationship partners with a strong Chiron placement, carrying a wound that is in need of healing. With Chiron in the 7th, their may also be a subconscious fear of being loved and accepted by others (all very true in my experience).
And Aries being the sign that is in Chiron may signify why I am headstrong, courageous, determined, confident, enthusiastic, optimistic, honest and passionate in relationships. And this keeps me going not giving up. Somewhere deep down I believe in love and that I can also have a lasting and balanced relationship.
My Lilith or Black Moon is in the 6th House (Health) in Pisces. Lilith represents the dark and invisible side of femininity. She is not only the giver of life, she also brings death, pain and doom. Black Moon in Pisces in the sixth house signifies a challenge with setting clear personal boundaries and dealing with ordinary daily life. I may go overboard with the search in spirituality and the extraordinary. I tend to get lost in others and have the tendency to flee. Flee from reality. The Sixth House teaches how to maintain good health without going into extremes with food and self discipline (I do tend to go overboard in diets, I don’t do things half measure). Lessons are to be learned in dealing with my own responsibilities and not escaping in work. People with Lilith in Pisces feel what other people feel. They understand other people, but will mostly feel the negative effects of this and are advised to stay clear of negative and depressed people as they tend to take on this energy easily. People with Lilith in Pisces have the gift to connect to the collective consciousness and this can be quite the burden if proper boundaries are not in place. The challenge is clear: Learn to create order in the chaos, and learn to discern pure intuition from fantasy. Also learn how to deal with fear without fleeing to alcohol or other addictions. Lilith in the 6th House also asks to act against the collective consciousness and not to go along and be lived by it. To be critical, to ask questions, to point out where things are not fair. Challenge is not to let my drive of keeping the peace block me in speaking my truth and pointing out what is wrong in society. Dare to be myself and let that be enough!
This makes so much sense. I developed an eating disorder in my teens to block off this gift of feeling everything and everyone. It worked, it numbed me out. With falling and getting up again I am learning to set up clear boundaries and discern what is mine and what is other people’s energy. Also I am learning to speak up and not be afraid of being shunned for it as I have in the past. This gift does help me read tarot cards and in healing as I can easily tap into someone else’s energy and speak my truth.
Lunar Astrology (or Chinese Astrology)
The Solar astrology is more in the proto world/ Numinous. The Lunar Astrology is more how elements manifest in our reality.
This system works in cycles of 60 years. In the past there were 13 months as they counted months always waxing until Full Moon midway in the month and then waning the second half of the month (there are 12,3 Moon cycles in a Solar year). The Chinese New Year is the 2nd New Moon (when starting to count from the Winter Solstice/the first New Moon)
I am Rabbit/Cat (middle) Double Wood (wood dominance means more visionary, better at communications and verbal or writing skills. In society a keeper of knowledge). This sign is about growth, attention, on guard, observant. Rabbits are attentive, caring, refined, sharp, calm, picky, fashionable and vulnerable. Mid double woon means the need for growth and expansion. Wood wants to grow. Wood brings earth (practical) and air (ideas) together. My Lunar month sign (hidden characteristics) is Rooster (passionate, romantic and diligent) and my Lunar hour sign (outward appearance) is Dragon (enthusiastic, inspiring and extraverted).
Stellar Astrology (Nine Star Ki)
The nine stars are the circle of North Pole stars.
I had read about Nine Star Ki, I have had a reading done in the past, but I never really understood what it was about (or taken the time to learn). And this astrology really resonated with me now I know more about it and I love how simple, yet profound it is.
Now to delve straight in. There are three numbers: the solar number (the key to harmony – this is how we project outwards), the lunar number (style of communication) and the stellar number (characteristics, more inside, hidden strengths).
My Solar number is 7 – The Hedonist – keywords are fun, gift of the gab, avoidance of obligations, charisma (what’s in a name), happy, easy going, clear, accurate, determent, focused, loving, self assured, sense of humor, social and attractive. Also knows as the youngest daughter if all the numbers are family members or The Lake (everyone likes to visit the lake on a nice Summer day). The element is metal, this is hard, cold (but not like the father number 6 – this metal is more flexible), can be sharp, can hurt, but can also cut the crap, is smooth and conducts easily. This outward energy needs to be balanced with deeper spiritual beingness. Time alone in quiet to balance is important. And yes I do need a lot of me-time on my meditation cushion and yoga mat. I would never have described myself as a hedonist. But reading all of this I guess I am. I do enjoy the good life and I like to have fun (Leo and Taurus influences again). Yes I do have a very serious and dark side. But I feel there needs to be balance, so I can be both. There is nothing to be ashamed of in having plain old fun! It is healthy. And so needed. Now hedonism is an extreme and yes I need to be aware not to go into extremes. I am very much all the way in or all the way out and tend to go overboard when excited.
So my lunar number, style of communication is the 1 which is the middle son or Water. Key words here are inscrutable, unfathomable, incomprehensible, a bit mysterious and not very clear. Haha oh yes I do recognize this. I am so often misunderstood. The gift of the gab from the above 7 doesn’t really come across like it does in my head. I often feel I am speaking another language from other people. Blank stares. Deep waters…And I guess yes part of me is very outgoing and wants to be seen, the other part is withdrawn and a bit of a mystery.
And my inner characteristics/hidden strengths/weaknesses is number 2 which is the mother or Earth. Kind, solemn, grateful, in service, rock solid, silent, dedicated, thorough, receptive, supportive, conservative, cynical, paranoid…these are some key words to describe the 2 energy (in balance and out of balance). Very much that Taurus energy again.
And when you know your solar number you can also calculate the number of each year and see which house you live in that year. Next year for example is a 7 year, and the 7 then lives in house 5 which means I am at home and I shouldn’t undertake or start anything. The 5 is ether, a year to retreat and receive feedback, so the year after I know how to proceed. In a 5 year you are at home and this energy is easier as you know it well. This year is an 8 year and this year I live in house 4, the house of money, appreciation and gratitude. This year for me is about steady growth.
To see how this works you use the magic square.
Again I am not going to deep into this. But you get an idea I hope.
Galactic Day Astrology (or Mayan/Aztec Astrology)
To be clear this is not the Dreamspell Tzolkin. The Dreamspell was made to fit our Gregorian calendar and is not the true Tzolkin. For example The Day out of Time was made up in order for them to fit the system into our Gregorian calendar. The Dreamspell/Thirteen Moon calendar makes jumps on certain days. The Traditional Sacred Calendar however never makes any jumps and is perfectly regular. The traditional Mayan way of counting moons, where the durations of months alternate between 29 and 30 days. These were followed without interruption of the Traditional Mayan Moon calendar was a reflection of the phases of the moon. The traditional Mayan way of counting months is synchronized with the natural female cycles of menstruation, ovulation and gestation, while this is not true for either the Dreamspell calendar or the Gregorian calendar. The prophetic calendars of the Maya are based on non-physical cycles. They are non-astronomical cycles based on the inherent creative energies of time itself. The Dreamspell/Thirteen Moon calendar is instead built around the particular astronomical cycle of our planet. While the Dreamspell calendar aspires to present a new way of dividing the solar year into months, the traditional calendar describes an ongoing cosmic process of creation that has no interruptions.
Anyway… in the Dreamspell my sign is Blue Eagle Overtone. But in this system my sign is 13 Flint/ETZNAB – Ascending Transformation. Kin 78
Etzab (Flint/White Mirror/Firestone/Obsidian mirror): Mirror of the Self and of reality. Discernment, self-reflection. The most important thing to an Etzab is truth, and a remarkable gift for discerning truth. In fact, people born under this sign can discern the evil plans and interpersonal problems of others by reflecting them in a mirror of obsidian glass.
At Tone 13 we are elevated to the next higher version of ourselves. Flint/ETZNAB, as a struck flint, these persons are the divine sparks of intelligence. Flint’s innate abilities are utilized to discriminate emotions from fact. Flint persons stand tireless to protect, defend, or cure others by personal sacrifice. By courageously wielding the sword of truth, falsehoods are cut away. Flints, it was said, can receive information on inter-personal troubles or evil plots of others by reflecting in an obsidian mirror. Their valiant service as warriors of the truth must be impeccable or they will experience sufferings of accidents, misunderstandings and gossip. Flint/ETZNAB can offer us a revelation that comes as a spark of Divine Inspiration.
Tone 13 The thirteenth sign of the Mayan galactic tones is called Ascension. In Mayan it is also known as Oxhalun. It is known as the “cosmic tone”. It is also the tone of presence and transcendence. This energy combines definite change with the spirit world. It pushes humanity into something new, without warning and with a definite purpose.
The Mayan galactic number thirteen is the last in the cycle and is considered a very powerful number to the Maya. It symbolizes the highest level of accomplishment. These people exist in dual worlds because they represent the last of the galactic energy, but they are also ready to begin a new cycle. People born under Maya number 13 are always working to make their creations better. They strive for perfection and will keep fine tuning their work until they feel satisfied with the outcome. They may be interested in subjects that are paranormal such as psychic phenomena, and other dimensions and realities. They may become teachers in paranormal studies, psychic, or even author a book on metaphysical studies. They are always moving forward from one level to the next. Their life’s work will be completing one phase after another always trying to outdo themselves. The Maya day number 13 are very intelligent and have a gift of seeing the big picture. They are quick learners at whatever they focus their mind on and are able to complete projects with little to no effort. They are good at making sure all the details of a project are taken care of and in order.
In lak’ech, I am another you
We also discussed Humeurologie en Enneagram – but will leave this out here. Enneagram I want to study further. For now I know/feel I am number 1 The Thinking Do-er.
Tarot Gift Spread
And to complete the picture I also did a gifts and talents tarot reading.
Thank you so much for reading, if you made it this far. Again this is a very selfish post, but the process of writing this out really helped me digest everything I picked up during this Self Knowledge week. Thank you for your support and for your company.
