Hello dear you,
In these last days of the year I am in deep gratitude for the all the lessons and gifts of the past year. In the peace and quiet between Christmas and New Years I look back and I am grateful. Grateful for all encounters, for all connections, for all experiences of last year. I am grateful for everyone who has appeared on my path, for everyone who has opened up and for everything that we were allowed to share with each other. Grateful for the work I am allowed to do and grateful that I am here. Thankful that I am able to get the positive out of everything. And thankful for my friends, family and you!
This time of year I am engrossed in making lists (oh yes I do love lists!). My planner is now filled with lists, lists of what I am grateful for, lists of what I would do different, lists of my big dreams, lists of my aspirations, etc. Now I don’t have time to share these all and some of them are still private and will manifest when the time is right. But when you make lists of what you want to experience in 2019, make sure you also write down why you want that and how you will achieve this state.
Reflections
The first step to setting new intentions is reflection as we learn from the past. Celebrate your happy times and study your losses as they teach you so much on how to proceed in order not to repeat this same experience.
Here is a little process for you to get your inspiration going.
Stare into a candle
1 Find a place where you feel comfortable
Have pen and paper ready
Sit down, light a candle, and turn off all the lights.
2 Focus your eyes on the flame for a while
By looking at this one point, your thoughts come to rest so that you can focus your attention inside. Take a deep breath as you watch how the flame dances with time.
3 While your eyes are still on the flame, think back to the last weeks and months
Let your highlights and lows of 2017 pass through your thoughts. Without value judgment, and without meaning to the memories that come up. Let your film of memories continue until you feel that you have seen enough of the year to continue.
4 Slowly remove your gaze from the candle and look in the mirror
Get the less pleasant memories of the year to mind – your moments of regret, your mistakes and your missed opportunities and write down all the things you did not achieve or that you didn’t want to do or were disappointed about, things that made you sad or angry. List all these things. Rant about all the things and people that disappointed you. You will run across self-judgement, write down what you are judging yourself about for. Rant all you want. Get it all on to the paper, let yourself go. Go on and on. Push yourself to let it all out. Then go to your list and for every thing on the list see if there is a lesson there, something you have gotten out of it. Write those lessons down too. And when you are done get your list and whisper, “I forgive the darkness and continue in the light” to yourself. If you like it, you can repeat the mantra a number of times. Look again at the candle as a symbol of the bright new opportunities that will come your way. If you feel you need to write something down in your journal for later, this is a good time. And then in closing get the list with all the negative things you could find no lessons in and burn this list.
My reflections
What made me happy this year
and I want to create more of in 2019
I forgive the darkness and continue in the light
- Working too much and too much time spend at the computer working– it is time to play and live more – and intend to walk more in nature.
- Spreading myself too thin over way too many projects – need to cut down on the amount of projects I am working on, more focus and more depth and less stress.
- Reacting instead of responding. When stressed I don’t take enough time to be and respond. In stress I react without reflection or contemplation.
- Live from the mind and not listen to my deeper feelings.
- Looking outside myself for the truth – the truth is within me.
- Not setting clear boundaries and let other people hurt me. No more.
- Judging others and myself – I still do this every now and then, not often, but it happens. More mindfulness is needed (again especially in busy times of stress). And beware of groupthink and gossiping along with others so I feel I fit in. Do not let myself be tempted to judge or speak or think ill of myself or others. I now choose love and see the truth and that is love.
- Letting fear get the better of me and keep me from doing things I long for. Think less and jump when it feels right. Again choose love, not safe restriction.
- Diet/habits – when I eat meat I feel guilty and stressed. I do not like this habit. Because it has become an easy habit when eating out. I have been a vegetarian from age 16 ’till somewhere in my 30s and started eating meat again because I was depleted in vitamine B12 and Iron. I do use supplements but my body doesn’t use these properly. I hardly eat any meat at the moment, only when I eat at other people’s house or parties, when traveling and there are no alternatives. I will stop eating meat in 2019 and see how I feel. Also less dairy. I already cut back dairy a lot, but the cheese oh the cheese. Don’t think I want to part with this guilty pleasure just yet. Same goes for the occasional glass of wine and coffee. Guilty pleasures, I forgive myself for, and will probably not let go of in 2019. I might though …we’ll see. And yes no more guilt, just pleasures!! 😉
- No more doubting myself, my capacity, my inner knowledge and strength. I know what is best for me and I am powerful.
- No more putting myself last and self-sacrificing. Time to put myself first. Feed myself so I can overflow love to others.
- No more repeating the past – I break with unhealthy habits – and speak and live from the present. What is showing up now is real, not yesterday or maybe tomorrow.
- My bowel problems – I am whole, I now decide this is in my past, I digest life with ease and grace from now on!
- And finally doing things out of need to be seen or heal subconscious guilt – in 2019 I will share from a space of abundance and inspiration. My words/themes for 2019 are Inner Power, Quality of Life, Fulfillment of my own needs and Individual Freedom, but more on that in the next blogpost.
