Hi you!
How are you? I so hope you are well and happy that Spring is upon us. Here in The Netherlands we have a late Winter cold sweeping over the country. Cold winds from Russia are cooling down the temperature to below freezing for at least the coming week and people are taking out their ice skates, ready to make use of the frozen waters.
About the post/rant below, re-reading what I just wrote, I notice that I write ‘we’ a lot… if you feel this is not about you, apologies, I am generalizing, but I do feel this is true for a lot of us. I am just more and more fed up by screens and computers and being away on holiday I now notice how different life with and without screens is. Of course we all know this, we are all aware of this (well most of us are), but we are so trapped in our lives that we can’t imagine living without them. Myself included. And I am not making a case for chucking out all screens, but I am asking for a more aware use of them. We so often use media mindlessly, a habit, an escape, a distraction. A distraction from life.
The one thing I notice most being back from Cuba is the little interaction we have here with other people, in real life.
There is no eye contact, people are glued to their screen, and when eyes do meet people look bewildered or annoyed. There is no recognition, friendliness, flirting, no play, just sour looking faces staring blankly at a screen with an air of leave me alone. Ofcourse there are exceptions, but generally in my experience, this is the case.
Starvation
This starvation of human contact has us craving substitutes that mask affection, recognition, warmth and acceptance. We so long to be seen, to interact, we are left emotionally famished as computers can never make up for real HUMAN contact. And that is I think why so many people struggle with addiction and anxiety. We no longer know how to connect to others and to the natural flow of life. More and more of our life is becoming artificial.
Magic
Being away from computers and phones I didn’t miss it at all and I felt energized and focused. My head stopped buzzing and the tingles in my body ceased. Now being back, the strange sensations have returned and I feel drained and uninspired by television and computers. I am reading more books (and I have always been an avid reader) and spent much more time offline. And I intend to keep it up. Also I find myself utterly bored by Facebook. It brings me no joy and I have no urge to check the time line. The magic is broken!
Present
Another thing this online life is doing is that we cannot be present anymore. We cannot just be and do nothing anymore. As soon as there is a second to spare, out comes the mobile phone and our gaze is locked to the screen. We cannot just take that precious time just to be silent and check in with ourselves how we are doing. Focus on our breathing and our body. No we have the constant need to project outward, find distraction and ‘follow’ other people around. We have no more sense of self and of how we feel and what we like anymore. We feel lost.
Choice
But the internet gives us so much freedom I hear you cry! And yes I hear you. It gives us the opportunity to connect (yes I do see it also helps us connect) to people around the world and I am truly grateful for that and yes we can see places online that we may never get to visit in real life and there is so much information at the tip of our fingers. True, but also how much of that information is true and needed for our lives. Believe me I am all for expanding the mind and learning, but are you sure you NEED all that information and are you sure it is true? We think we have so many options because there is so much to find online. But we are not aware of being programed and we only see what we are allowed to see and that fits our current patterns and that the information we see is more and more censored. No wandering outside the box. We think Cuba has no options, no choice, well here’s some news, neither do we. Perhaps for us it is even worse because we are comfortably asleep in our cages. It has been predetermined what we get to see and what we experience. And we also cannot wander where we want to go as we need passports and visa. So freedom, don’t make me laugh! We are prisoners to our lives, to the so called norms of society and all our responsibilities and obligations. When you don’t follow in line you will see how unfree we really are.
True freedom is not choice. Choice always means their are limited options. Multiple choice is not freedom. True freedom is undefined and open to all possibilities the creative mind can come up with.
Nothing need fixing
Also on holiday I had time to be. There were hours, even days with no schedule, no must do’s, just time to be. I had no phone, no computer, hardly any luggage, just me myself and I and time. Now this was such a luxury and it did me so much good to just tap in and feel. Just to sit with my thoughts and feelings and not to abandon myself into thinking and doing. Nothing to need fixing. Just pure being.
Now I know it can’t be holiday every day of the week. We can’t abandon thinking and doing for simply feeling and being (offline!). We have a life to live. But don’t forget that just being doing nothing is definitely also living! Perhaps even more so. By being willing to feel all your feelings, you learn to trust your flow, you don’t need a screen to tell you what it is.
Experiment
I invite you to experiment by taking a different path, a path less travelled, a path that will lead you back to your power, even if just for a moment or two. Take 10 minutes first thing in the morning and 10 minutes last thing at night to commit to your experiment and sit with your feelings—without judgment. As you do, remember to connect with your breathing—slow, continuous breaths.
Only by being in your feeling experiment will you know if the magic is true for you, too. Listen to your Self and trust your flow. After all, you’ll never know until you try!
Stop escaping yourSelf in distraction.
Disconnect to connect.
With love, Charissa xxx
