Dear you,
Yesterday in the dentist office, my eyes fell on this Dutch quote:
“Rouw is de prijs die we betalen voor het vermogen lief te hebben”.
it means ” Mourning is the price we pay for our ability to love”.
Today, March 2nd, is my Mom’s birthday, she would have turned 65 years of age.
I can hardly believe it’s been over a year since she went to another dimension. Sometimes it feels ages away and sometimes I still have the impulse to call her. It still startles me and makes my heart skip a beat. Sometimes the sharp pains are suddenly there again, the intense missing and some days I just remember the love and laugh when I think about her. There is still a wound, I think the loss will always leave a scar, but the wound is not throbbing with pain anymore.
I just had to laugh when I thought about her would be age, 65. You see my Mother was always very frugal and she was always saying that she would be happy when the time would come that she would receive 65+ discounts. She sure would have liked all the discounts.
But she died too young…
There is no blueprint for mourning
Even if you’ve never lost a close friend or family member you’ve still been touched by loss. When a relationship ends, a friendship changes or a job doesn’t pan out the way you had hoped, there is loss and with loss comes grief.
Grief is personal
Grief is a matter of the heart and soul. It is a personal experience and not one person grieves the same as another. It is good to grieve our losses, to take time and accept otherwise grief shows up in other ways such as self-sabotage. Suffering though is optional. Loss is a natural part of life. The way we experience loss and grief is shaped by our thinking. When our intention is to be tender and loving, it is easier to get through grief. Grief becomes a tool for healing rather than a way to suffer. We mustn’t push our feelings away as strength is found in expressing how we feel.
Beware of your thoughts
As always it is so beneficial to choose our thoughts carefully for our thoughts can help us manifest hope in our mourning. Be kind to ourselves and reflect on the loss with love. We need to allow ourselves time to grief and there is no certain end to this period, but remember to keep your thoughts optimistic.
An open heart
A broken heart is an open heart, these circumstances of heartbreak provide us with room for growth in our lives. This is a time to get to know our emotions. The pain of loss is part of our journey, it is part of our self-discovery. Embrace this emotions, don’t burry them.
Strength in love
After a loss we have the strength to create a new reality. We need to keep moving through the pain. Tenderness is strength. Hold the memory of love, not of sorrow.
Let our losses serve as a reminder to embrace love and that our life is a gift.
Remember to love yourself as you deserve it, you are the gift.
In memory of Marjanne Broerse, I love you so much
xx Charissa
