Hello Everyone, how are you? Thank you so much for meeting me here. I am so grateful you are spending some time here with me. Connection is so important and I would love to receive your feedback and interaction.
After moving through highly charged energy lately, I have noticed old patterns of survival come up to the surface once again. But I believe a lot of it is leaving now for good. It has shown up now for all of us to deal with once and for all and break karmic bonds. I am addressing every single one of them to let go of them completely, or at least I am giving it my best shot. It is not going without pain and scratches, but I am standing strong in the light and I feel so supported by the Heavens right now to do this self healing. Now is the time to let go of anything that is not in our alignment with our Higher Self.
I acknowledge that there is still pain and I take responsibility for my own feelings and bring loving compassion, acceptance and forgiveness to myself. So it is easier to extend compassion, love and forgiveness to others.
One of my patterns is trying to safe everyone and energies involving my parents. The saving, is old, from early childhood. I always wanted to serve, rescue and protect everyone. Always felt a deep need to help and be “useful”. And parents, well most of us have parent “issues”, no make that everyone. This is because we are formed in childhood and the bond is so strong. No parent alive has been a perfect parent, such as there are no perfect humans, we all make mistakes, some more than others, some intentionally, others not so much. And there is no one correct way in raising a child, a child is like a sponge and even picks up on energy that is not spoken or acted upon. So parents let yourself of the hook, don’t blame yourself, do the best you can and know how to. Forgive yourselves. I have been working through a lot of parent issues in the past years. I know my mother is reading this and as we have nothing to hide from each other I feel free to share a little. Still this is personal so I won’t cross the privacy boundaries too much I hope. It is a difficult line on how much to share here. I want to be totally upfront and authentic on my blog, but there are also other people informed. So I am treading carefully here.
The Mother
You see I tend to be the mother in relationships, with my parents, but also with men in my past. A somewhat overruling, smothering mother I believe. My parents got divorced when I was a teenager I have felt guilty about their breakup. I was an exchange student in the USA and when I returned my parents had split up. My mother told me then that she was lonely because I left for the States and that if I stayed at home, this would never have happened as she would have had me to talk to (because my father just was absent a lot of the time). Now with me not there she was lonely and fell into the warm arms of another man. I never forgot this, I know she didn’t say it to blame me, but it struck me hard and always remained with me. Also a lot of other “stuff” happened around that time and I was in desperate need of a steady basis and love. But I felt lonely and like a failure. I moved in with my father and took on the Mother role there.
To the rescue
I always felt that I needed to save my parents and that I failed horribly. I have always felt the deep need to rescue everything and everyone. This is something I have done all my life. I always brought home strays (animals and humans alike) and feel drawn to stick up for the underdog. And as long as everyone around me is not happy and healthy, I cannot feel whole myself. This pattern repeats itself in my relationship and professions. This needed a lot of healing and cord cutting I can tell you. Still cutting on a daily basis. Thank you Archangel Michael, for all your help in doing this. It is very simple, but super effective. Angels work like that, the simpler the better, love that
Broken
My father, I believe, is not a happy man, he needed to escape his life by moving across the globe to The Philippines and find “love” with young women there. I do hope he is happy and feels this is true love, but deep down I feel he is just tricking and numbing himself in many ways. You can move halfway across the world, but you cannot run from yourself. You take all your stuff with you. After I visited The Philippines twice, trying to mend the relationship with my father, I felt not heard, seen and loved by him. I don’t believe he was aware of this and I don’t feel this was his intention, but this was my experience. This rejection hurt too much to go through again and again, so I decided to break up with my father. But somehow my father kept “forgetting” about this break-up and out of the blue after weeks and weeks or even months would contact me again like nothing ever happened. Now breaking-up with him over and over caused me even more pain. Funny thing is that he contacted me mostly out of the blue on days that I was going to a spiritual seminar or coaching where I would be working on my “daddy-issues”. Funny that, like he could feel this and which I am sure he could on some level. The clairs are strong in my family, with psychics on both sides of the family.
Opportunities to heal
The “challenges” that came up recently are that my mother was diagnosed with Stage four Lung Cancer and my father is now suddenly visiting The Netherlands after many many years to get divorced from his Filipina wife and he didn’t even bother calling me or my brother and arrange to meet. He is still in the country right now and haven’t heard from him. Yes this hurts. But I am not fixing this or seeking blame (with myself or him). I am being here, right now, in my heart and forgive myself and my parents and I bow for their path. But I see this for what these are, opportunities to heal and I am grateful for this opportunity to forgive and heal. For myself but also very much for my Mother and Father. I hope they recognise this and heal their hearts and soul, so they can move on in peace and love.
The Work
In order to get to a natural state, we need to let go of any anxious attachments and negative internal feelings we have towards another and ourselves. Therefor forgiveness benefits us more than any other emotion. Once we can forgive we can fly above our emotional river and respond by feeling it and learning its signals, we can calm it down and use our logic to respond. I have done a lot of mental, physical and spiritual work and have made peace with my past and present. No more fixing, no more band aids, but real deep work, working through peel after peel of the onion. I faced my demons and am still peeling, feeling I am getting closer and closer to my core. I can see my parents’ path and my path, it is what we have chosen for ourselves. I understand and feel great compassion for their life. But also for my own. It has been a bumpy ride, not just the parent issues, but a lot of other poop has pushed me back on track so to speak. Now looking back I see this was all needed to get me where I am today and I feel grateful, I really do. It no longer hurts and I feel kind of detached from my past. It was me, but there is no emotion attached to it anymore. I can view it from above so to speak, without labels or judgement.
Ho’oponopono
A powerful practice for forgiveness is the Ho’oponopono technique. This technique is born out of the fact that all life is interconnected, and is all made of the very same Essence. Further, we create every single thing that occurs in our life, big or small, by the vibrations that are dominant within our own being. We are like a human projector. We are uniquely experiencing parts of ourselves. From the perspective that there is only one Being and that is US, we look within ourselves and see how we created the “other” person’s behaviour. Then we heal the part of ourselves that created this distress, by focusing love on that condition. We take responsibility for whatever we see that needs healing. There is no boundary between me and you.
Saying “Thank you, I’m sorry, and I love you” over and over day after day is the essence of Ho’oponopono.
“Thank you
for bringing this part of myself
into my awareness so that I can
take responsibility for it and release it.”
“I’m sorry
for harboring separating thoughts
that have created suffering for Us.”
“I love you.
You and I are One with God
and each other.”
Healing
There is a middle ground between saving and breaking ties with someone. To just be there with compassion in your heart. Supporting without feeling the need to save or fix. Compassion is the active expression of acceptance for the world and people just as they are, without judgement about a person or situation. To be without expectation that it should be different, no more comparing. Compassion does not mean that we give free access and that we don’t hold people accountable for something negative that they may have done; it means we understand the root of the problems and how they were created rather than looking at the surface behaviour. Compassion lessens the feeling of rejection, which by itself is the root of many negative behaviours. I bow deeply to my parents and their path. They both have a history like everyone else, they are not saints. They are unique individuals and are so much more than just a father and a mother. Of course as an adult I see that now, as a child this is not something you consider, Mom & Dad are just Mom & Dad. I love my father and mother so much that I trust that they can live their lives with their own strength and wisdom. As my parents are very much a big part of my life right now, this part of me apparently still needs some healing. And as this is one of the base themes in my life, I am ever so grateful I get to work on this now and put this insight into practise.
Selfishness
While the desire to make someone feel better is a natural human desire, it can be distorted in our mind. If we react to another person’s situation with sadness, frustration, or anger we will desire to stop feeling these unpleasant emotions. Ours mind holds an outside situation as responsible for our own sorrow or pity. Our desire to make ourselves feel better drives us to change others. WE are overlooking the role of our beliefs, assumptions, and interpretations in creating our own emotions. In trying to change another we have lost our respect and acceptance of another for where they are. Sometimes I slip and go into saviour/superwoman-mode and need to redirect myself with forgiveness and compassion and step back. I mostly worked through the pain of not feeling seen, feeling abandoned, the feeling of failing my parents and the desperate need to fix it. The longing for love and warmth, the longing for protection and acceptance. The wanting to keep everyone from harm and pain. I have found all these qualities in myself. So I no longer feel this need to look for it in others and I am finally happy with me as I am.
Balance
Family bonds are strong and family energy keeps pulling and wants to be felt in the right balance. As long as there is no balance it will keep showing up, I get this. Now is a time to let the energy of fixing go, forgive and accept with love and compassion. The child – parent balance needs to be restored. My mother, I cannot save her. I can be there and support her and love her. But I cannot save her, she has to love herself, find her true joy and live fully. None of us knows how much time we have left on Earth. I hope she has many many more years of beautiful life in her. And I will be there with her, not in front of her, leading, but beside her supporting. And I will have to open my heart to the pain of loss and let love heal it. The same with my father. Live and let live. Let it be and so it is. He knows my number, the ball is in his court. But I am no longer waiting for him to throw it.
Negative Bonds
Also in combination with forgiveness, the Angel Therapy I practice helps wonders with the release of Negative Bonds. I can also help you cut the cords and release the bonds. Energetic cords keep you connected to a person and need to be removed as they drain your power and energy. All day long you form cords to other people, but if you have a strong connection to someone and there is a lot of negative charge involved, these can really impact your emotions and health. The release of these cords always needs to be done with compassion and forgiveness and self-forgiveness is critical in this practice.
Quan Yin
I have received a lot of support from the Angels and Ascended Masters. Quan Yin has been by my side for a long long time (I even have a tattoo of her on my back!). And also lots and lots of love and support from all the Earth Angels in my life, I love you all! Thank you!!!
Quan Yin, the great goddess and Mother of Compassion, loved and revered throughout Asia. A beautiful expression of Divine Mother. Mercy means there is more assistance given through love than through merit earned. Following her ascension Kwan Yin turned back to save others and made this pledge:
“Never will I seek, nor receive, private individual salvation, never will I enter into final peace alone, but forever and everywhere will I live and strive for the redemption of every creature throughout the world from the bonds of conditioned existence”
Kwan Yin is associated with the earth, fertility, and birth, and healing. She has also brought forth the energies of Magnified Healing. Quan Yin is known as the Goddess of Compassion and is often depicted riding on a dragon. She is the eastern counterpart of Mother Mary and she works to balance the feminine energy. She is one of the Lords of Karma representing the sixth ray. Isis carried the same ‘mother energy’ in Egyptian and Hinduism, Shakti (Vishnu’s wife), Pavarti (Shiva’s wife) and Sita (Rama’s wife). Her proper name is Kuanshih Yin and means “She who harkens to the cries of the world”. She is honoured in Japan and China. A Celestial Bodhisatva and Ascended Master.
Dear you,
Thank you for reading and sharing this space with me.
Thank you for making me feel safe to be vulnerable.
Thank you for shining your light on this Earth.
Thank you …
Lots of love, light and blessings,
Charissa
xxx
