Beforehand apologies for this rather erratic blogpost which I wrote last weekend. I wanted to write and explore why I am feeling so tired lately and whilst writing I kept getting insides and hooking in to different themes. So apologies if this doesn’t make much sense or seems scattered, I know it is. But please bare with me and I hope it makes sense to you and perhaps gives you some insights into your own behaviour and feelings.
Tired
Lately I have been very tired. With headaches, neckaches, pressure in my head, ringing ears, etc. I just can’t seem to get much done and I sleep a lot and long with very intense and exhausting dreams. I feel like my head is filled with cottonballs. Usually I am a go, go, go person, but not now. With everything going on in my life right now this is not unusual but I hear many people saying they are tired. I believe this is because we are being upgraded and uplifted as our DNA is being changed through various light codes as we move through ascension into our crystalline selves. It is very important for us to stay grounded at this time. Something I still find challenging and well sometimes forget. I tend to live “up there”, did so my entire life until a few years ago I decided to live in my body again. I do notice however that this is still not my default setting. We all have to be aware of staying grounded, to make this integration a much easier process.
The Field
I write these blogposts also as a reminder to self and to process my feelings and insides, to show compassion and to bring it to the light. I also hope they help you provide clarity with similar “issues” in your life. As we are all one I believe every issue in my life is picked up from The Field. We all tend to run in to the same energies in one form or the other in lesser or more intensity. I hope my insights help you and you can help others by sharing yours. We all have our own truth, but sometimes other people’s wisdom directs us in the right direction. Together we are One and therefor we have all the wisdom we need.
Energywork
So this blogpost originated in frustration as today I was planning to work on my to do-list, but haven’t done a single thing. I just don’t feel like doing anything right now, except just sit here and meditate. And this brought up a lot of old programming such as my judgement of laziness. This is programming from society as society expects us to be busy, always doing and taking action. So it is vital to take the time to step back and see that we are connecting to this field and intentionally choose to disconnect ourselves from it. Taking time out for self care is not being lazy as the most important thing we can “do” is be. The energywork we do is the most important purpose for us to be here. We are an energy conduit, we receive and share energy. We chose to visit Earth so we could be here holding the light at this important time, therefor we need to be present in this physical body, now. We need to be present energetically, this is so more important than any to do-list.
Self love and spirituality * Calm and centred, quiet and still * I love myself and always will. – Diana Cooper
Let go
And then when I decided to start doing things, not “must do” stuff, but things that bring me joy like starting a new drawing or painting, I started faffing away my time on Facebook and other websites… and house cleaning, so what is that about? What am I running away from? Do I believe I am not deserving? For me doing always has an energy of practical doing. So it has to be useful (as if being in joy is not useful!!). Why is it so hard to be in joy and not feel guilty? I have always been a “first a lot of work and then a little play” kind of girl. But it is so hard to follow my guidance into action lately. I am either super impulsive and dive right in or I go in my head, think about it (a lot) and end up doing nothing. I now realise this is old and it is coming up so strong yet again so I can deal with it and let it go and move on. Let go of the old in order to let the new energy in.
I am who I am that I decide to be in this moment! And I am JOY!
Hear your Soul
So meditating and resting is exactly what I did this morning, a long and inspiring meditation. I meditate daily and taking up this practice has changed my life dramatically. We need peace and quiet in our everyday lives. The constant input from our hectic lives means that we crowd out that still small voice and we cease to hear our Soul. The less in touch we are with ourselves the less we are to have a happy and fulfilling life. We need to listen to ourselves in order to be ourselves. So I had a long listen and I would like to share some more insights here.
Being versus doing
I am using this “down” time to contemplate and meditate. Meditation and resting our bodies helps us to lead a happier, healthier life which in turn will assist us in truly connecting to that which we are. If we don’t take time to listen to Spirit we become tired and cranky. We feel lived instead of alive. I have been pondering the question of being versus doing. This has always been a big challenge in my life. The always being busy, the FOMO, the not listening to my body and seeing rest as something I will do when I am old or dead. Where does this fear of quiet and stillness come from and why is still popping up every now and then? Ofcourse it is clear that I am running away from my Soul’s whisper, as it is so hard to hear that I need to slow down, take stock and clearly change direction, I get that and that brings up fear and that is something we all like to avoid. And I know we shouldn’t as we learn so much from our fears. Time to listen. There is something restless and unfulfilled in me, it is stirring and growing. I now truly feel the time for happiness is this moment, not some projection in some non existing future. So why is it so hard to be happy now? Choose happiness now. It is so easy and therefor I guess so hard to do. We have to look inside, that is all. Therefor we need to stop and listen in. Really listen and not fear what we may hear.
Balance
I’ve always found it hard to relax as there is still so much I want to do, that I want to create. I want to write more, create more art, travel more, read more books, I want to explore, I want to live life to the fullest, and somehow for me just being as in not doing feels like wasting time. But now I know that when we don’t take time to rest and integrate what we are experiencing we cannot fully do as we are always doing things half that way. To fully do we need to fully be. You see it is all about balance. As a Libra I also think this is a great lesson and insight for me. To always come back to this balance. I see that now and wanted to share this with you.
Strength in Stillness
I have made great progression over the years. This is what two burn outs and a lot of other experiences taught me. I took mindfulness trainings, started meditating, invited the Angels back into my life and even work with them now (thank you ANGELS!! xx) and I trained to become a spiritual coach. Spirituality is part of me now, it is my every day life, it is me. It is not something I do, it is something I am. In many processes I even remembered that two of my core qualities are peace and stillness. Who would have thought? Not me for sure, as these are the qualities that I always so admired in others but couldn’t see or feel in myself! Aha!! There it is! As I admire it in others, it is in me. It IS me! I can so feel it. But still..haha…yes still, I do feel guilty when I do a whole day of “nothing” and let my to do-list be. I also noticed that I am really annoyed by the fact that it is so hard for me to let go of doing. I recognize this feeling and don’t push it away any longer, but I explore and it showed me that I fear my own greatness, my own strength, my strength in stillness. Aha!
I am a human being, not a human doing. Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren’t what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don’t…you aren’t. – Dr. Wayne Dyer
The artful being
I notice that I use the word “still” al lot. I feel this has a lot to do with patience. It shows that I feel that I should learn and integrate faster, it has a judgement attached to it. Being more yourself is the key to a happy and fulfilling life. However, society expects us to be busy, always doing things and being completely action orientated. I don’t want to connect to that energy. I see that. From now on I will allow myself to take my time and not being rushed into anything. All in perfect Grace and Divine timing. From now on I choose to start living instead of being lived. To stop the frantic doing and start the artful being. I am taking charge of my life and operate with intentions instead of goals. Change my attitude and change from planning into flowing and just being in the moment. Only at this very moment we have our largest potential and choices and now will define how our future unfolds. And so it is!
Flow
To be honest I still get itches from quotes such as “go with the flow”, “it is as it is”, “just be”, etc. They all feel like false labels that many people say, but so little people really live. I always missed the intention in these quotes. I always like to have some sort of direction and plan, or is that just false control on my side? And Spirit does not work through control, I know that. It wants us to trust and follow timely guidance and we need to walk our talk and the signs will follow. As I am being open and vulnerable here, I will admit that I do not walk my talk all the time. And the guilt that comes with that helps me hold myself accountable so I make changes and walk my talk more and more each and every day. I do catch myself sooner and sooner when I drift of path and remain in a connected state (instead of in my head) more and more often and yes everything starts flowing and a peace washes over me so much more often. This is so wonderful that I wonder why is it so hard to choose this easy way? The answer that came is that I feel that we need, no are programmed that “negative” experiences are the only way to move us forward, but I also feel that this is old energy and old belief and that is leaving us and soon we all can take steps from the love of our heart without being pushed forward. Most people are vibrating back and forth between guilt of the past and fear of the future and are therefore seldom in the present. But in the moment lies a very valuable gift, that is why it is called the present. It is the gift of connecting with ourselves and with a higher power of source that provides peace, clarity, simplicity and serenity that can only be found in the here an now.
Now I am choosing ease and grace!
Thank you for reading
Connecting with ourselves and with a higher power (regardless of your affiliation or what you call that higher power) can transform your life. Your ability to recognize that the answers are all within, coupled with your ability to trust those answers, can move you from feeling like a victim to claiming the power to create your life.
Please tell me your thoughts and feelings on being versus doing. Are you a human doing? How do you stay grounded and connected? Please feel free to share.
